This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things!

16 Sep

So it’s getting really fucking boring re-capping every single thing we do and place we go so that ends here and now. I’ll just talk about the really interesting/exciting shit and the rest is for the birds at this point anyway considering I forget things all the time.

SO this weekend was decent, I must say. Friday was the Dow Jones bar, which was fun because we were constantly scrambling to the bar to try to get the crash prices but that never worked. We just weren’t quick enough. Ya snooze ya lose and we all know I love to snooze. Anyway if you’ve never heard of it or can’t figure it out by the name, the Dow Jones bar has it’s own little “stock market” of drinks. When one drink is getting popular, the price goes up, while the drinks that aren’t as popular goes down. Then it crashes and all the prices go to all-time lows and everybody stomps on each others faces to get cheap drinks. It was like 99% Americans, but we did hang with some Peruvians who gave me some advice on my Spanish and gave the boys a run for their money playing pool.

On Saturday we went to Chupito’s (a shot bar) and we were all super stoked because we heard about a lot of funny and yummy shots. I had cleaned my friend D’s room earlier in the day, so he told me he would buy me a shot and I was all for it. I knew he might get me a gross one but I didn’t know just how bad it could be. BASICALLY what ended up happening was Yarden and I were supposed to take the shot together. Some of the other girls had heard of what it included and filled Yarden in. But not me! Nope! I was left in the dark to take the “shot” with Meghan instead. The bartender asked me if I liked beer. (Yes.) He asked me if I liked whipped cream. (Yes.) Then I got blindfolded and something got put on my head. I was told to open my mouth and stick out my tongue…it didn’t sound appealing, but I figured he had put whipped cream on the beer bottle and I had to lick it off then chug the beer. Right? WRONG! Ends up he was attempting to fire a fucking beer-filled dick at my face. As soon as the thing hit me and I could tell it was NOT a beer bottle I went bizzerk and peaced out. Not a nice experience, needless to say. Luckily D apologized the next day and I got over it. YOLO, right? But NEVER, EVER do a Monica Lewinski shot, even if it’s free.

Unless that looks like fun to you, of course.


Thursday 9/9: Armin Van Buuren at Opium Mar

14 Sep

SO. Here it is. My Thursday post. Where to begin…the beginning perhaps? So, I hadn’t really thought twice about going to Armin come mid-afternoon on Thursday, but once I started talking to the other people in my apartment building/ALA group I figured I should look into it. Tickets were 30 euro, which is about 40 USD in the current exchange rate, which didn’t seem too bad compared to what I’ve paid for other concerts/shows. So I was like, yeah! Let’s fuckin’ rage! It worked out that the other girls had bought Claire a ticket, but she had decided last minute that she wasn’t going because her train to Paris was at 9 a.m. the next day. So I got hers and got my shit together. Our sweetheart of a group leader, Kristen, took us all out to dinner at an awesome Tapas place which served us up about a thousand plates of primeros, cokes and ice cream. After dinner, it was already kindof late, so some of the girls decided to go right out to the W with some promoters to pregame. The rest of us went back to our apartment, got semi-jahoosed and took off for Opium a few hours later. For some reason I just wasn’t NEARLY drunk enough, so I was a little put off when we got there. It was crowded as FUCK and we pretty much immediately all lost each other. Armin wasn’t coming on til like 2:30, so we were just jamming to the regular DJ when we saw all the other girls in VIP. We tried to get their attention but failed, so we ventured off to the dance floor – me Lauren and Rex were by ourselves but 3’s a crowd right? Armin finally came on and killed it, although to me a lot of house/club music sounds alike and Armin isn’t one of my all time favorites so it wasn’t tooo special…but still, we danced our fucking tits off in front of the stage – right in front of the “gogo dancer” who was more like a slightly mobile model…but we felt cool anyway and whipped our hair back and forth til we were dripping sweat all over the goddamn floor. At that point we decided to take a breather on the patio…but then we decided to go to the fucking beach because it was right there and verrrry much more appealing than the crowded club. We ran out to the beach and, since me and Lauren were wearing our leotards, hopped out of our skirts and into the water. I don’t think I’ve felt anything more refreshing than diving into the Mediterranean long before sunrise, especially after being hot as hell inside an epic clusterfuck. Rex was quite the gentlemen holding our purses while we splashed around, so of course we had to give him a turn too. After we were satisfactorally soaked and refreshed, we sat on the sand and marveled at the fact that we were actually sitting by the ocean so far away from home, seemingly so far away from everything albeit the fact that we were surrounded by buildings, people and lights. Then, out of left field, a friendly jamaican in a Bugs Bunny tie named Benjamin came on up and joined us. We talked with him for hours, buying beers from the “Bapus” as he called them, or as Benjamin decided was the best option was to reach into their bags and hope for the best. He narrowly avoided getting his dreads lit on fire and one Bapu even looked like he was about to clock him in the face. Somehow, Benjamin charmed his way through some sticky situations and stayed with us. At one point, he said (in his unmistakeable Jamaican accent,) “You guys, you guys are my friends. You are good, nice people.” “You’re nice too Benjamin!” We said. Then we asked, “if we weren’t nice, wouldn’t you leave?” This clearly confused him because he started to say his goodbyes and walk away before we called him back. It was cute in a way and I felt bad for that moment that he thought we wanted him to GTFO. But he stayed, and we continued to get drunker on the beach and shiver happily, because it was one of the first times we hadn’t been sitting in our own sweat since we landed in Spain. When it finally got to be time for the metro to re-open, we started walking away from our temporary personal paradise. I had to pee like a motherfucker and apparently so did Rex, so he ran off to do his thing while I was left whining about being a girl. “Where the fuck can I pee?” I asked Lauren. “Um…well…you could try standing next to the shower and turn it on so it just looks like you’re washing your feet?” I found this to be a fascinating and fool-proof plan and headed over to the beach shower. EPIC FAIL because the shower turned off after 2 seconds and I was left standing there peeing like a goddamn man while holding my leotard to the side. I got a few cheers and a few distinct “American” comments but LIKE I GAVE A FUCK RIGHT GUYS? Haha but I kinda did considering it was embarassing but whatever it was funny as hell. Then we headed up the boardwalk and Rex Moneybags Lougovtsov came out to play…he bought a white fedora, about 4 bags of weed, a rose, and more beers…all along the boardwalk. Typical Tuesday, as we’ve come to realize…also, he ran out of money and started using mine so that’s always fun.


Somehow, after that little adventure, we ran into some of the other girls, who had also taken a dip in the ocean…great minds think alike. They wanted to take a cab home but we kept walking and made it back to the metro. At least I think we did?

Overall, not a night worth 30 euro, but a night I must say has been one of my favorites so far. After all, it’s the combination of where you are && who you’re with…

Second Week

10 Sep

I know it’s blurry, but that’s the night sky outside my window. I dunno if I’m delusional, but I don’t remember clouds being so clear at night in the states…

SO it’s the second fucking week already. I can’t tell if time is flying or crawling, but either way it feels fuckin’ weird but I can fucks with it. We started classes Tuesday (WAH) and of course I missed the first one. But hey, it’s add/drop week so I’m good. I didn’t go out Sunday or Monday night because I was still recovering, but Tuesday night I was back on the antsy-train and decided to go to a bar crawl with Claire, Lauren, new Alex, (who had just arrived because of Irene fucking up his flight shit,) and most of the other boys. Before that, though, we went out to dinner – just Claire, myself and the boys, and had a great fucking time if you ask me. I was wicked glad to finally get to know them since I hadn’t yet really hung out and talked with them much so far. Back to the bar crawl…we were on Shaz’s list (a promoter) who is a hilarious Indian guy with a bullhorn and a lot of enthusiasm for drinking. We started out at an “Irish pub” with 2 euro beers, followed by a cave of a bar with lots of shots to be taken, and ending with a club called Boulevard that has a lot of trippy lights, loud music and…no drinks for me because I ran out of money. We were having a grand old time dancing when all of a sudden Claire booked it away for no apparent reason. I found out later that someone grabbed her fucking Blackberry AND 25 euro right out of her hands and she was absolutely livid so she left. BAD IDEA! Do as we say not as we do. Walking at night in a foreign country in an unfamiliar city by yourself…is straight up dannnger. Luckily she made it home okay and so did we – we actually left at a normal, American hour and went to bed…but of course I still missed my first class. Fuck me right?

Does Thursday night count as the week or the weekend? I never know. For us it’s basically the weekend because classes are only Monday through Thrusday. I’ll just give Thursday its own post because I have a lot to say…per usual.

Recap: First Weekend

9 Sep

So…we’re really in Spain I guess? DEFINITELY still has not hit me, but whatever…our first weekend was good enough to deem a success, I suppose. I think I’m going to have fun no matter where/what/who/when, (at least for the honeymoon period,) so yeah it was great! Friday the whole group went out together to the Barceloneta area where a lot of the big clubs are along the beach. Apparently everyone was down to go to Shoko, but when we got to the door we learned there was a 12 euro cover and they were only open ’til 3 – I say only lightly, remember, we’re in Europe – so a group of us said fuck it and looked elsewhere. That group was Lauren, Claire, Alex S, Dan, Everett and myself. We came across a club called Catwalk and it looked fun enough, and the cover was 12 euro with a free drink – and they were open until 6 am. Weee! The 6 of us just danced our tits/dicks off and got hammied and had good times with friends. It was reminiscent of a night back in Friendsachusetts…except instead of Jtown’s shed drinking busch lights we were in a dark loud club drinking pineapple juice…either way it was an a-okay fuckin time. So much so that Claire and I literally slept ALL DAY…and then we decided to do it again!

Saturday night we did a “girls night” and went to Catwalk…yes, same place…and topped Friday night’s adventure by a mile or two. Along with a bunch of other Americans, we got in free, which was a major plus considering this city is expensive as fuck. Once we were inside, Claire and I started chugging vodka&pineapple juice (which were fucking 10 euro a pop) and started getting down on the floor. The first floor is a lot of techno and pop remixes, and upstairs was a lot of rap&hip hop, so we switched back and forth and just grinded the shit out of each other and avoided the wandering hands of the  boys/men swarming the dance floor. After a while, (I have no sense of time here,) Claire and I went outside and smoked a bunch of ciggs and talked shit. Typical Tuesday…but then we go back inside and what do we find? Helene and the other girls were in a VIP section? With a bunch of dudes? What is going on? Ends up Helene batted her eyelashes like a pro and met some Dutch soccer players from Belgium who invited us in with them. It was somebody’s birthday, so they had reserved the VIP and bought about a thousand bottles of Goose…who the fuck knew we would catch the invite? Either way, I was grateful for the free drinks, good company and the lack of creeps creepin. The guys were ( or seemed like) gentlemen, and their English was better than anyone we’ve met so far. We danced and drank and chatted them up about Belgium and Spain and America and the works. Then, when we were bombed beyond reality we went home and passed the fuck out. WORST hangover of my life the next day. I don’t know if it was the combination of pregaming with sparkling wine and absurd amounts of vodka or WHAT but I felt like shit and wanted to die. Pretty much everyone else did touristy shit during the day and went out Sunday night but I was like abbbbbbbbbbbsolutely not. But whatever, sometimes you need a hangover to remind you how much fun you had the night before. Yahoo! Anyway that was probably not that interesting to read but I don’t wanna talk too much smack on here so I can’t give you allllll the deets 😦 Sawry! OKBYE

Estoy en Espana Bitch

2 Sep

THIS IS SPAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ve taken a few pictures but none too WOW quite yet. I’ll be making lots of Facebook and possibly Flickr albums soon! Anywho…

Spain is awesome. Traveling was a bitch. My flight got switched last minute (and I mean literally the last minute – when I checked in at the airport) so I had a stop in Madrid instead of Dublin, as was originally the plan. I got NO itinerary and only one boarding pass. We were told we were just going to stay on the plane after we landed and that it would take off again shortly. False. My Spanish definitely got tested when we realized that was not the case, because we had no idea where the fuck we were or where the fuck to go. By the way, I say “we” because I got lucky and was with Lauren and Tammy, two Northeastern chicks who are doing the same program as me and live downstairs. So that was good! Finally, we made it to Barca around 1 p.m. Barcelona time on Thursday, September 1. Right out of the exit, I crashed my luggage cart into a metal sign and gave the crowd a good laugh. Tammy and Lauren wanted to murder me. We found our ALA guide, (Active Learning Abroad, the program I’m here through,) and not long after that Claire walked toward us with a dizzy look on her face. “IS THIS SPAIN?!” I screamed, and for the first time, she could say yes.

For what seemed like a fucking fortnight we rode a bus and arrived at our apartment complex, (not before stopping at the homestay locations, sucks to suck,) and moved our shit on in. The apartments are surprisingly nice. Claire and I share a room and have 3 roommates with their own bedrooms. We have two full bathrooms, a kitchen, a washing machine, a very Spanish-style clothes line, a living room with couches, desks, a table and a tv, and a deck! The girls downstairs have a legit patio. After we got kinda/sorta settled, we got sangria and food at a local place. The food was shit (for me at least) but the sangria was legit and super cheap. After that, we did a few other things and continued to sweat our tits off. We had a walking tour through ALA at 7 but…me and Claire being the fucking bums that we are, slept for 4 hours instead. NAPS FOR THE WIN! Then we woke up for a bit, ate some cereal and shit, and went back to sleep. Solid first day.


Today, (Friday, August 2nd,) we had orientation all morning into the afternoon. Claire and I wanted to kill ourselves the entire time because we’re miserable human beings. When it was finally fucking over the whole group went to a Tapas joint – appropriately dubbed Tapas Tapas – for lunch. It was bomb and not too expensive either. I got croquetes con tres quesos and shared other shit with people too…and Sangria, of course. Muy bien. Then we went to the Corte Ingles and I got a flat iron, blow drier and fan…the fan was a life or death kinda sitch. I don’t think you understand how hot it is here. We DO NOT have air conditioning. Sucks a coke-can size dick but I can’t really complain. I’m in Espana bitch!

Sitting here right now, (it’s around 6 p.m.) I don’t feel jetlagged at all and can’t wait for tonight. The whole ALA group (except for the UB kids, who haven’t arrived yet,) are gonna have a potluck dinner, pregame the shit out of life then hit Barca hard. Opium Mar perhaps?

Hasta luego amigos…

Happy Birthday Daddy! Wait, Now I Have to do Stuff.

9 Aug

Just kidding.

This was one of my easiest baking projects yet. And quickest. And besides, I’ve been looking for things to fill my days. I’ve been sleeping til 2 p.m. far too often.

Flourless Chocolate Cake

  • 4 oz. bittersweet chocolate (I used Ghiradeli chips)
  • 1 stick of unsalted butter
  • 1/2 cup of unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 3 eggs
  • 3/4 cup sugar

1) Preheat oven to 375 F. Grease an 8 or 9 inch round pan. Optional: put a wax paper round to line the pan for easier cake removal.

2) Melt butter and chocolate in a medium bowl in the microwave OR in a double boiler if you’re fancy.

3) Add sugar, whisk well.

4) Add eggs, whisk well.

5) Add cocoa powder, mix until combined.

6) Pour batter into pan and bake. Mine only took about 10 minutes, but it can take up to 25…just watch it. When it has a “crust” on top and a toothpick comes out clean, it’s done.

Just wait for the cake to bake…and you’re DONE!


And fuckin delicious.

If you want to add a little flare, sift some powdered sugar on top or add some pretty fruit.

Also, I experimented with fondant for the first time today. It went well!

To make a fondant bow, I rolled out the fondant and cut it into strips. I used a little water to attach the folded strips, then wrapped another strip around the center of two folded ones. Just like making a ribbon bow!


pimp your myspace at

Anyway this is how it turned out. Not the prettiest creation I’m sure, but it was my first try and I’m kiinda proud of it.



ABBetizers: Mexican Brownie-Bottom Cheesecake

21 Jun

I fucking love cheesecake. If you don’t like cheesecake you can go kill yourself. This cheesecake combines with another of my favorite desserts, the classic brownie, with one of my favorite flavors, cinnamon. It has just a touch of it to make it different from your everyday cheesecake but not an overpowering Christmasy-tasting disaster, nahmsayin?


You’ll need:

Brownie “crust”

  • 1/2 cup butter, cut into pieces
  • 4 oz (4 wrapped squares, most likely) unsweetened chocolate, cut into pieces
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 tsp vanilla
  • 1/2 cup flour
  • 2 tsp cinnamon
  • pinch of salt


  • 3-8-oz pkgs cream cheese, room temp for easy mixing
  • ¾ cup sugar
  • 1 tsp vanilla
  • 1 tbsp cinnamon
  • ½ cup sour cream
  • 3 eggs


  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. I used a nice, deep round pan to make a nice thick cheesecake. Any 8-10 inch pie pan will do, but most normal pie pans go out at an angle – I would avoid that. GREASE THE SHIT OUT OF IT. You don’t want your brownie crust sticking to the pan and fucking up your whole cheesecake.
  2. To prepare the crust, melt the butter over med-low heat. When butter is melted, reduce heat to low and add chocolate, stirring constantly until melted. Remove from heat and stir in sugar. Add eggs one at a time, mixing between each addition. Add vanilla. Stir in the flour, cinnamon and salt, and stir for 30 seconds until batter is smooth.
  3. Pour batter into prepared pan and bake for 20-30 minutes, depending on your oven, until the center is barely set. Remove from oven and allow to cool.
  4. Reduce oven heat to 325 degrees.
  5. Mix cream cheese, sugar, cinnamon, and vanilla with mixer until well blended, scraping down the sides of the bowl as necessary. Blend in sour cream. Add eggs, mixing on low speed just until blended. Pour over brownie crust when it is all cooled.
  6. When you bake it, one popular method for cheesecake is to bake it in water. Since I don’t have a lot of fancy cooking equipment, I poured about 3/4-inch of water into a rimmed baking sheet. Bake for about 1 hour. It’s perfectly normal for a cheesecake to jiggle around in the center, but the edges should be set. 
  7. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for serveral hours or overnight.
  8. Run knife or metal spatula around rim of pan to loosen cake. Use whatever method works best for you – I transferred the cake to one platter upside-down, then to the pie platter from there.
  9. Garnish with cinnamon and whatever else looks pretty! I tried to do some chocolate hearts but they were epic fails. I’m working on it.
  10. NOM NOM NOM!!!!